Thoughtful (Thoughtless, Book 1.5)
- by: S.C. Stephens
- Mar 19, 2015
- 3 min read
5 Stars! Kellan's POV was wonderful!
"She was my greatest pain, and my only salvation. She was the only one who could heal this hole in my heart, a hole she'd torn open."
This was a really hard read for me. I know that I must be just a touch sadistic to have read the series FOUR times, but Kellan truly is my #1 and he's worth the torture. When I finished reading "Reckless" two years ago, I sent an email to S.C. Stephens, just gushing over the book and BEGGING her to write "Thoughtless" over in Kellan's POV. I was not ready to let him go. I really wanted to know what was going on in his head during all the turmoil, and where did he go all those times he disappeared for days. Well I definitely got what I wished for. I just am a little sad that the Kellan we get in this one, thinks so little of himself and is filled with so much self loathing. I struggled at times with his inner monologues. "Why can't you love me like I love you? Why can't anyone? How awful am I?" These self deprecating inner monologues seem to go on for a very long time during the first half of the book. My heart was breaking so much for Kellan. Honestly, I understand why he thought so little of himself. He went his entire life without ever having been loved. I guess that's one of the many reasons I love Kellan so much. He could have turned into a real asshole because of the abuse he endured as a child, but no, he became this incredible guy that gave up his heart and soul for the one woman he truly loved. I just had a hard time with Kellan's self loathing thoughts. I didn't ever remember Kellan being that desperate in the previous books, and I mean, I just reread them this past week. I did end up hating Kiera even more in this one. I'm sure there will be plenty of
people who will have an even more intense hatred for her. Now that I know how badly she hurt him repeatedly, I am definitely not feeling any sort of sympathy for her. The first half of the book, I was feeling so depressed. I was so certain this was going to be a five star read for me, but Kellan being so desperate to take any scraps of attention Kiera would throw his way, really just bugged the ever loving crap out of me. THANK GOD the second half of the book was much better and turned things around for me. Once Kellan stopped being such a door mat, I could breathe a sigh of relief. There were some scenes that had me crying like a baby. The "goodbye" song he wrote for Kiera. The talk between Evan and Kellan at the hospital!!! Kellan had a family all along. His band mates loved him like a brother. They were there for him during some of his dark days. I know sometimes when a book is retold in the other main character's POV, it almost seems like we're just getting the story regurgitated, but I didn't get that feeling at all. I loved experiencing the story through Kellan's perspective and there were plenty of scenes we never got in "Thoughtless", and man were some scenes very painful to relive in Kellan's POV, like the fight in the rain. I'm so happy that S.C. Stephens gave us readers this opportunity to reunite with Kellan and no matter what he will always be my #1.
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