Deeper / Harder (Caroline & West 1&2) GREAT YA BOOK!

4.5 Star Series! Full of Angst, trials, tribulations and redemption

DEEPER

4.5 Stars!!

Ever did something you KNEW you shouldn't have....but ya did it anyway? We all have!! Ever did something you KNEW you shouldn't have...but you did it to please or make someOne else happy? We all have!!! However did that ONE moment change your life FOREVER? Probably not!!!! Or maybe it did!!!! Did it make everyone you know look at you differently? Probably not!!!! But if it did I hope it was in a good way because Caroline's life was turned upside down......and I don't mean in a happy way! This book portrays a great and a true message about our society now that the Internet is involved. Basically that message is NOTHING you do these days, if technology is involved, is a secret. The entire world could view anything if you piss the WRONG person off! Caroline..... Is a good girl, great student, loyal friend, aspiring law student but she broke up with her boyfriend. Now that's not a big deal so to speak, you break up with a guy......it's over done with. Not so much in this case because once its on VIDEO.......it can GO VIRAL!!!!!! Well I'm sure your asking "what is on video?" USE YOUR IMAGINATION....I'm sure you'll figure it out;) West..... He is just a boy from the wrong side of the tracks. He's very secretive about his past but he's very loyal and supportive of Caroline....he meet her freshman year and he tried to keep his distance but after what her douche ex did to her he can't!!! But he wants too because he doesn't want to be close to anyone he has demons of his own to fight! All I can tell you is West is, in a word, FABULOUS!!! LOVE, LOVE LOVE him!!! This book is a perfect example of how 2 people learn to trust again. Does everything go as planned for them? NO!!!! That's why I love it so much because its not PERFECT it's real!!! It has real human qualities of love, commitment, desire, want, need, perception, disappointment, acceptance.......it's a perfect NA book.....that's all I can say! The other thing I loved about this book is you get to see through Caroline's eyes how she deals with the disappointment of her parent....I say "parent" if you read the book you'll understand. As a parent myself, even though I see her side of the story I feel the same as her Dad........I mean you've preached and preached what NOT to do and you know they aren't going to listen to everything you say however she's DONE it and now you gotta deal with it! It's a consensual act that got exploited, which is bad but as parent you have to step up! Final thoughts.... The reason I loved this book was because I could look at it from both sides....as the girl and as the parent....it made me realize even though my girls are young I have a lot more to teach my kids than my parents did!! One simple pic or comment in our time, because the Internet is forever can ruin you!!!! You can fight back.....but in the REAL world would you win? Or would all be lost already?

HARDER

4.5--Hard On the Heart--Stars!! We first met West and Caroline in Deeper. I fell in love with their story. Their struggle. Their journey. It was painful, it was cruel, it was filled with hurt...but also hope, and want and desire. My heart broke at the end of Deeper. When Caroline and West were torn apart. West to return home to protect Frankie from their asshole father. Caroline to remain in Putnam and fight for her freedom. Freedom from the intrusion of having her naked self splashed across the internet. It's been 2.5 months since West left for Silt, Oregon. I really struggled with the state of West and Caroline's relationship at the beginning of Harder. We left them with hope, with promise, with love. And we returned to them with hatred, anger, sadness, longing, regret. A tragedy brings Caroline to West and to Silt. West doesn't want her there. But West saved Caroline in Deeper and it's her turn to save West. Whether he knows that's what he wants and needs or not. And she never gives up.

"All I can do is stay. Love him. Hope."

West is ashamed. He hates who he is, where he comes from. What his life represents. If Caroline is good....

"The world belongs to Caroline, but it doesn't belong to me."

West believes he represents the bad...

"I'm a villain. I deserve venom. A kick in the ribs. Disgust."

West's actions towards Caroline made me rage. The choices he made, regardless of the intent were almost unforgiveable. It broke my heart. Shattered me.

"I used sex to make you leave me. It was...that was something special between us. Sacred, even. And I turned it in to a weapon. Turned it on you."

In a way what happened was a catalyst. A turning point for West and Caroline. It was the only way for West to push Caroline away. To make her leave. To make her give up. And her reaction was exactly what West needed.West is stuck. Stuck in Silt. Drowning in the responsibility of caring for Frankie....making a living. He exists. He doesn't live. The only way out for him is to leave Silt. To take Frankie. To finish college. To not let his past win.

"It's not so bad to waste your life. It's not so hard. What's harder--what's fucking impossible--is thinking that you've got a future and then losing it."

While there were times I didn't agree with Caroline's reactions to West, I understood them. She was easy to forgive, easy to forget. Because her love for West meant more than the hurt he caused.Poor West, he is just so lost. Lost in his duties to Frankie. Lost in his desire to not repeat his past. Lost in his feelings for Caroline. Just lost. Trying to go from surviving to thriving.West returns to Putnam. Determined to thrive. Determined to make a new life for himself and Frankie. Determined to move on. Determined to forgive and forget.And so they do, West and Caroline forgive. They let go. They give in to the pull. The connection that keeps them from being apart. They allow themselves each other. To love. To be. To live.

"You feel good to me now." "That's all I want. To be good to you." "Be good to me forever." "I hope I get to." "We decide. You and me."

West and Caroline's journey was not an easy one. There were times I was angry, I was gutted, I was heart-broken right along with them. Beat down and kicked. But in the end, West and Caroline came out stronger. Better. They fell harder. They loved deeper.

#45stars #review #ya #angst